How to develop Effective communication skill in toddlers/kids?

Do you think ‘Effective communication we need only in corporate or in business?’

It is crucial in personal as well as professional relationship. It is very important to nurture it in kids since baby age. 

I believe, we enjoy so much when our kids start speaking few words. Their initial few words ‘ba, ma, da’ is precious moments, eventually they start speaking words and then sentences but what our responsibilities as a parent is to guide them or to help them for effective communication.

What to do for that?

Our response matters.

I am sharing 2 recent incidents/case study which shows how they become effective in communication.

It is simple

• Help them understand others
• Help them analyse the situation.

We are so busy in our thoughts or in our conversation with someone sometime we miss important response which eventually shape our kids minds to think in a right ways.

Case study 1: 

My 3 year old son was wearing colorful dinosaur trouser, one of my friend just casually said, I like it will you give me?

My boy replied: Thank you but it is small for you. it will not fit you.

She was impressed with his mature reply.

But for me as a parent: Here it is a clear understanding about situation and what is someone is just saying and and what is she meant too 😊 

When they are baby/toddler age or come across such incident for the first time and their instant reply or feeling is:

1.       No it’s mine’, 
2.       Feel upset or start crying that someone is asking something from him. 
3.       Come to us and ask us to say ‘No’on behalf of them
4.       Complaint about that person who upset them.

They are right, every time they no need to share or need to understand someone genuinely need it?

We teach them ‘sharing is caring’ however it is important to think broader picture.

Effective communication is only possible when right understanding about what someone is saying?

Here my boy could interpret in a right way rather just listening or relying on words.

Most of the time we listen to few words and we start acting on it rather understanding what it means. Isn’t it? We parents can help kids only when we are good at understanding others. or good at analyzing situation or someone.

When they first experience ‘No it’s mine’, and our response matters, how we guide them and what other options we tell them, that matters.

General approach:

Our response to our mind: ‘He is very stubborn, he doesn’t share and then we force our kid to share’ will it be effective? Our response ‘she is just joking will it help?, don’t cry’ will it be effective?

Effective approach:

We can ask them to trade, we can tell them saying instant ‘No’ is RUDE, if it is for food or toy we can surely encourage them to ‘Share’. we can encourage them by telling them how to be nice, how to be good. we can encourage them by saying 'you are good boy, please share', if they share we surely should appreciate them, if they can't we should know how to set boundaries or how to divert them first and then eventually help them nurture good habit. insist as 'sharing is caring'. keep reminding them 'he is good, he do care, he share', such positive affirmation helps them break their boundaries and connect with others.
Ofcourse for any such challenging incidents, stories works wonders :) I wrote most of the stories to pass on my message to my kids.

Case study 2:

Yesterday we been to park, one 2 years old boy was playing with his car, and my boy wanted it. He asked him politely but the 2 year old boy refused. Her nanny was just taking it normal way of child behavior. And she smiled. My boy felt heart broken (being a parent I generally encourage him to be kind and share when someone wants it). 

I have come across many such small incidents where I see parents are deeply interested then paid nanny for such small nourishment. Because toddler age kids need more patience maybe. 

Anyway, I generally didn’t intervene but seeing that boy was sounding RUDE and his nanny’s smile (my boy thought his mother) or not asking boy to share was hard for him to accept. I took a pause and thought,

It is a life learning experience for him. I said to him, ‘That’s ok. it is his car. you can think other things to play as it is his car’. My duty as a parent to help him identify other possibilities to move on rather feeling upset or favor for him. To my surprise my boy went to his buggy and took his ‘fire engine, and asked me can I share?’

I immediately nodded my head infact I was confused he need to be that generous?, 

My son went to that boy and said, ‘It is always good to share, you want my fire engine?’ but then you give me your car. Make sense?’ I was so surprised by my Son’s idea of thinking other possibilities.

He broke his boundray of thinking that boy is bad or his nanny is not good or feeling upset.

Understanding about others (my son realized that boy is younger then him, my son realized he can trick him) Kids are really good at all these , sometimes we elders pass unnecessary judgement, feel upset or irritated and we pass on such feelings to our kids, which will eventually not a healthy way for healthy mind.

The boy immediately gave his car to my son. My Son smiled and said, ‘we are friends’ and then for almost 2 hours they both played well.

It was amazing, when we teach them ‘understand others, their mind start thinking that way’ they learn to be respectful, patience, compassionate and it helps them to find ways in challenging situations. thinking other possible options or move on.

In first incident he said ‘it will not fit you, he understood well that my friend doesn’t want and how to be nice to her’, in another incident he noticed he is elder then that 2 years old boy and encouraged him to be kind for sharing and at the same time he solved his purpose of playing with his car.

 Feel free to share your amazing experience for effective communication in kids :)